i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
