see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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