I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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