I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
