once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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