I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's official drugs can't kill me
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
