I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you didnt know i had herpes?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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