In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
