I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
