remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
