Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
