Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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