Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
