is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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