i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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