No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
