Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
