Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
high people should be assigned attendants
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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