I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need a beard to bite.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize