sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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