If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
