The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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