I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
sex in a hospital.. check
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
