Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
