Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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