tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize