How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
