I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
