from now on my penis is your penis
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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