I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
