When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize