I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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