hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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