The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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