He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I enjoy the company of your penis
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
