Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
