I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
