If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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