i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
