I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
