North Korea, Best Korea!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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