OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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