We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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