I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize