ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
