dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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