Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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