I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
