Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i was born a porn star she said
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
