That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
