I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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