hotel room ftw
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
