Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
