Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
