Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
