Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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