I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
