Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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