I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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