Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I need to calm my uterus...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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