Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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