Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up under a house in Key West
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