Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
