Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize