hell yes lets make some ravioli
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
