I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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