let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
