first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
